Resources to Support Children with Anxiety.
Unfortunately, I don’t have the capacity to work with children at the moment. I do, however, have sessions with parents/ carers; we work together to come up with a plan and strategies so you feel more confidence to support your child. I have also compiled this bank of helpful resources.
Anxiety and Children Resource Bank.
Being a parent of an anxious child can be very worrying. It is hard to know what to do. I have written lots of blogs about how you can help.
My (very) brief top tips are:
· Don’t ‘feed’ the worry. Validate it but don’t have lots of discussions about it as that will just re-inforce it
· The most helpful thing we can do is to teach them how to deal with their worries on their own. This will take time, but it will mean they will build resilience, be empowered and give them the foundations to grow into independent and secure adults.
· Stay calm & tell them everything will be fine. Tell them you believe in them and you will help them to find ways that they are able to manage their worries themselves.
I have collected together a list of the most useful resources I have found to help with anxiety in children. Some are for you to do with them, others are for them to use independently. I want this to continue to grow and to be a helpful resource bank for whoever needs it, so if you have used anything that has been helpful, please let me know, so I can add it to the list. Thank you.
Resources to support younger children.
“What to Do if You Worry Too Much.” 6+ years old, but could be adapted for use with younger children. A great, work-book style book that gives you & your child CBT style strategies to manage anxiety. There are also other books in the series that tackle other areas like anger & OCD type behaviour etc.
“No Worries!” By consultant Dr. Sharie Coombes. A lovely book with a mixture of activities (colouring, writing, self-help & positive thoughts) to help combat your worries. There is no recommended age, but I think it could be used any age from 7.
“Have You Filled a Bucket Today? A guide to daily happiness for kids.” A simple picture book ‘using the concept of an invisible bucket to show how easy & rewarding it is to express kindness, appreciation & love…’ It focuses on how thinking of others helps you to become happier in yourself. There are also other books in the series.
www.bucketfillers101.com has downloadable materials linked to the ‘bucket full’ series.
The Suzie Books series are books for young children about a variety of everyday things they are likely to encounter. When they know what to expect, their anxiety often reduces.
Picture books, with some notes of suggested activities.
“A huge bag of worries.” A picture book for younger children about worries that drag you down, but once you share them, they feel better.
Once you read this, you could
-draw pictures of all the worries your child has and then decide what to do with them as they did in the book. Which ones are going to run away, which ones you can blow a kiss at etc.
- Make your own book called, ‘A huge bag of worries’ and personalise the worries. Then think of strategies together that help with his/her worries.
“My many coloured days.” by Dr Seuss. Can be adapted for any age. A lovely story book exploring different moods.
-Point out to your child how the little mouse is scared, but uses strategies to make himself seem & feel more confident. By acting more confident, he is able to stand up to all the other creatures.
-Can your child design their own “Gruffalo” that gives them more confidence? They can then imagine they have it with them all the time.
Resources to support older children.
“Outsmarting Worry.” Written for 9-13 year olds by the clinical psychologist Dawn Huebner, who wrote, “What to do if you worry too much.” This is a playful but clear look at what happens when we get anxious and how you can manage it. It has great illustrations and is a fun read covering a serious topic.
This is a brilliant Canadian website explain anxiety and all the different ways you can manage it. There is lots of information in the form of fact sheets, games, quizzes, & videos. Aimed at teens.
“No Worries!” By consultant Dr. Sharie Coombes. A lovely book with a mixture of activities (colouring, writing, self-help & positive thoughts) to help combat your worries. There is no recommended age, but I think it could be used any age from 7. It would be suitable for older children too.
“A Smart Girl’s Guide.” Series. Great books for ‘tween’ girls- the recommended age is 9-12. They are magazine style books with useful information and suggestions about how to deal with a variety of common issues. They are quite ‘cool’ looking and have quizzes, suggestions and real-life examples. My daughters love them and refer back to them all the time. They are American so do have American spelling etc. There are loads of books in the series but here are the ones my daughters find particularly useful:
A Smart girl’s guide to liking herself.
A smart girl’s guide: Worry How to feel less stressed and have more fun.
A smart girl’s guide: Drama, rumours and secrets: staying true to yourself in changing times.
A smart girl’s guide to knowing what to say. Finding the right words in any situation.
A smart girl’s guide to understanding her family. Feelings, fighting and figuring it out.
Resources to support Teens
Open: A Toolkit for How Magic and Messed Up Life Can Be is a great reference book for teenagers covering everything from love to politics, understanding your body, body positivity, the internet, mental health, sexual health and so much more. This book does cover sensitive subjects, so I recommend you look into it yourself first.
You Got This: A fabulously fearless guide to being YOU is an engaging reading about self esteem, body positivity and empowerment.
Anxiety resources.
Most of these resources work on the idea of distraction from the worry and something else taking it away. We know worries are in our head, so as we make them, we can get rid of them. Children can find that easier as they live in an imaginary world much more often than us, so let’s use that to make things better for them. Once they have got used to using it, you can choose whether to explain how it is actually them controlling their own worries.
Worry eaters. These come in a variety of designs and are available as key rings or as big, soft teddies. They have zips for mouths for your child to put their worries in. My kids have a keyring on their school bag and a big teddy at home. The deal is, once they have written the worry down & the monster has eaten it, they are not allowed to think about it until ‘worry time.’ In ‘worry time,’ they take worries out of the keyring & throw any away that they aren’t worrying about any more and transfer any current worries into the big monster. Those are ones that we work at together to solve.
Worry Dolls. I used these when I was a child! You tell a tiny worry doll your problem and then put it under your pillow at night. The dolls take your worry away and you wake up feel refreshed.
Interactive fairy door worry plaque. Your child puts their hand on the hand print and concentrates on getting the worry away. The plaque changes colour and takes the worry away.
A fairy door with post box is very useful, for example this one. There are many out there, (some are aimed at boys too). These are really useful to get your child to work through their emotions with a little support while thinking they are independent from you. You child can write letters about their worries etc. and 'the fairy' can write a response with suggestions of things they can do to make it better. I love these too.
You could use the same idea with many toys: dinosaurs, lego figures, mermaids... There are endless opportunities!
