My daughters are coming to the end of Year 7. I can’t believe it. Where does time go? As I cast my mind back over the last year or so, I think about all those current Year 6 children and their parents who are full of emotion about moving on to Secondary School.
I remember the anxiety, or even fear, I felt when on endless school visits trying to choose the right school. Was it right for both of them? What was the pastoral care like? How did they support autism and additional needs? What was the environment like? How would they get there? And on…. And on… and on…
The transition from Primary to Secondary can be daunting. I knew that from years of being a Year 6 teacher. However, I hadn’t quite anticipated just how anxious it would make me feel as a parent! But you know what? As with most things in life, the thought is worse than the reality.
So, I’ve been thinking. What do I wish I had known about Secondary School a year (or two!) ago?
1) They suddenly grow up.
Even when they were doing their SATs, I remember thinking, “My god, they’re still so young! How are my babies going to survive Secondary School?” I don’t know what it is, but from then until September (and beyond!) they suddenly ‘grow up.’ The change in them both over the last year has been amazing. Yes, they are the youngest (and in their case, literally the smallest!) in the school, but they quickly outgrew Primary and were definitely ready for Secondary by September, even if they were a bit nervous.
2) The transition was well organised, supportive and sensitive.
While Secondary has different expectations and is a completely different environment from Primary, staff know the importance of ensuring a smooth transition from one setting to another. In our experience, that transition was thoughtful and supportive, throughout all aspects of the school day. I was worried that they wouldn’t be completely settled in before the transition process was finished, but I was wrong. Both girls felt their needs were met, even though those needs are very different.
3) Communication is so much easier.
We have been actively encouraged to email relevant members of staff with any questions or concerns- I also make a point of emailing to thank them etc. when appropriate. Obviously, having a daughter with addition needs, I have to email more than average. When I do, I usually get prompt, informative and helpful replies; I have often been impressed with the sensitive and thoughtful ways issues have been dealt with. Very different to how it would have been dealt with when I was at school!
4) Moving from lesson to lesson is helpful.
This was one of my main worries. How would they find their way without getting lost? Would they be able to follow the timetable/ map? How would it be walking through the school with the hustle and bustle of all the ‘big kids,’ especially for my autistic daughter? But actually, this has become something that has helped them get through the day. They get to have a little wander every hour- a movement break, whereas in Primary, they were in the same room all day. They get to be in a variety of environments, with different teachers. It breaks up the day and refreshes things every hour. Yes, it took a while for them to find their way around, but it was much quicker than I expected- they were all ‘in it together’ and were helped by the staff and older kids.
5) “The Teenagers” are not as scary as they seem!
I have to say, one thing that I get really annoyed with is how teenagers are portrayed in our society. The amount of times people have said things like, “One more year and you’ll be a TEENAGER, god help us!” to the girls. The teenage years are confusing and difficult, but that doesn’t mean you suddenly treat other people badly.
When it comes down to it, lots of the ‘scary teenagers’ have helped and looked after the girls and their friends. They have been kind and supportive. Of course, there are some who aren’t quite so helpful, but that’s the same with any group of people.
6) My experience isn’t their experience.
Sometimes I have to remember; I may be feeling something stronger than the girls are as I have been triggered about something to do with my own school experience. They are going through this for the first time and don’t have the baggage I have. As I have already said, the though is often worse than the reality- I may be imagining all sorts is going on, but in reality, it’s probably not!
7) There IS more homework, but it’s manageable.
Oh, the battles with Primary homework! I was dreading the amount they would get at Secondary! However, I have been very impressed with how they have (on the whole!) taken responsibility for it themselves. Once they got used to using the technology (most of it is online) and when it was suposed to be handed in etc, unless they need help understanding it, they have got on with it pretty independently. Although, I have to admit that I have had to google a lot when asked to help them!!
So, in short, it’s been a bumpy ride at times, but I’ve been pleasantly surprised about how well they have adapted and the support that they’ve had. They’ve made friends, are finding the variety of learning exciting and the teachers have looked after them. Even though they are shattered (keep your diary as free as possible for a while!!) and everything is very different, it has been much better than I expected. I can’t believe we’re coming to the end of Year 7. It’s flown by!
