If you follow me on Instagram or on Facebook, you may have noticed that I have started booking some ‘well-being’ time into my diary once a month. Funnily enough, even though I am only in my second month, it has highlighted some things about me that I wasn’t fully aware of!
If I’m honest, I decided that this would be a good idea because I wanted to promote self-care to my clients. I saw it as a positive message that would be easy to promote (and look good!) on social media, rather than seeing it as something that would be beneficial for me personally… Hmmm…
Yesterday was June’s well-being morning. After I had battled the girls into school, walked the dog, tidied the house, put on & hung out a couple of washes and did some work emails, I ran a bath, put my phone on ‘do not disturb,’ (took some photos for Instagram) put on a facepack and spacemask and ‘chilled.’ It was in my diary as my well-being morning after all, so that was what I was going to do …
As soon as I got in the bath. I felt guilty. It was 11am. The middle of the day. The middle of a working day. What was I doing, indulging myself like this? I should be doing something productive.
Now, because I had already applied my facepack and opened the spacemask, I had trapped myself into twenty minutes of relaxation, whether I liked it or not. I couldn’t even distract myself on my phone as I had an eye mask on… Great… I have no problem wasting time scrolling away on Instagram or Facebook, staring at rubbish tv or chatting on the phone, but for some reason I seem to think (but don't say!) that making time for my own proper self-care (especially during the day!) is somehow lazy, unproductive or self-indulgent.
After a few minutes of ‘chilling’ (ie. beating myself up about how lazy I was) I started to notice the birds singing outside the open window. I distracted myself from the unhelpful thoughts I was having by focusing on the moment, being present and tuning into that beautiful sound, which I followed with some mindfulness and self-hypnosis. I slowly gave myself permission to spend some time building up my reserves and strength for the day ahead.
I gave myself permission.
I felt the knot of responsibility melt away. I felt the worry about the children lessen its hold on me. I felt the stress from the morning disappear. I felt the rushing thoughts of what I needed to do slow down and settle. I felt so calm, so safe and so sure.
I gave myself permission.
I felt my strength renewing. That strength replacing those feelings of rushing, uncertainty and self-doubt. I felt grounded and at peace, knowing that I was doing the best I could do and that was good enough. I felt amazing: Strong, calm, happy, confident, ready to take on the world!
After, I had so much more to give everyone else. Not only that, I had a mega-productive and successful rest of the day. Twenty minutes was all it took.
It doesn’t matter what you do: walk, bath, gym, stare into space, do some mindfulness on your journey home from work... Whatever you want. Just give yourself 20 minutes every now and again to pause and be present in the moment so you can actively re-group and build up your strength to enable you to face the world. But just remember; the most important thing is to give yourself permission.
(I wrote a blog in February about the importance of self-care with some links to great TEDTalks. If you are interested, follow the link.)
