The amount of failed New Year’s Resolutions I’ve made over the years is embarrassing. I’m sure I’m not alone in this!
“Stop worrying so much.”
“Get fit.”
“Lose weight.”
“Give up smoking.”
“Drink less.”
“Exercise more.”
“Eat more healthily.”
I was never very original with my resolutions, but even with the huge amount of support available from the internet, books and even organisations, I never seemed to achieve long lasting success. Why was that?
Well, I now know that I was DOING IT ALL WRONG!!
My resolutions often used negative language, were too vague, unmeasurable and too big a goal. I had set myself up for failure so, predictably, I gave up. I’m sure many of us do the same thing.
Looking back, I think that if I’d had a list questions and suggestions to help me, I would have had more chance of success. Just think, instead of another ‘failure’ to beat myself up with, I would have achieved my goal, grown in confidence and been inspired to do even more!
My guide to setting yourself an achievable, appropriate New Year’s Resolution.
1) What do you actually want to achieve?
Not stop. Not quit. Not give-up. What do you want to achieve? Language like ‘give-up’ and ‘quit’ makes it sound like you are missing out on something, encouraging you to think of the difficulties. It is much easier to do something you want to do, rather than to stop doing something, especially if you believe it will be hard to stop.
Once you know that, I recommend you sit down and jot down everything you will be able to do once you have made this change. Also think about how it will impact those around you & what benefits they will get from it.
2) How can you rephrase your resolution?
Look at everything you jotted down. What are you excited to do on there? Change your resolution to something like, “I am going to do x.” You have now changed your focus to something exciting, something you want to do. Whatever you want to start, ‘give-up’ or stop will now become a by-product.
3) What do you need to help you achieve your new resolution?
What will it involve? Do you need support from others? What resources or equipment will you need? What do you need to know, or learn? What will you need to do yourself? Write a list of all the things you need to help you.
4) What is the time scale for your new resolution? What steps do you need to take?
Often, we ‘fail’ at something because our goal is too big. It becomes overwhelming and unmanageable, so we become disillusioned & give up. It is very important to have an end goal, but it is equally important to break that down into smaller, achievable steps. By taking it step by step, you can clearly see the progress you are making, so are more likely to feel encouraged to continue. It will also mean that you are less likely to give up, as each step is achievable; you don’t give yourself an excuse to say, “I haven’t managed to do that, so I can’t do my resolution.”
Write down your end goal and then decide each step or ‘mini goal’ you will need to take to get to there. Once you have done that, decide what is a realistic time frame for each ‘mini goal.’ You now have your plan.
(Remember, if any of it feels daunting, you have not broken it down enough. Re-visit your plan and adjust it.)
5) How will you know when you have succeeded?
How can it (or each step) be measured? Exactly what is it that you will need to achieve so you know you have succeeded? How many times will you need to achieve it before you can move to the next step? How will you record your progress? It is important to know this so you can keep the momentum going.
So, to achieve your New Year's Resolution, you now have:
A clear outline of each step towards your end goal
A good understanding of why you want to achieve it, and how it will benefit you
A manageable timescale
A list of the resources, knowledge & support you need
A good idea of how you will know when you have achieved them
Doesn't that give you a better chance of success?
Now all you need to do is have a great New Year’s Eve and start the year on a positive note, knowing exactly what you need to do for a successful 2018!
Happy New Year!
Please get in touch if you have any questions or would like any support.
