Anxiety.
How many of you feel as if you are ‘pretending’ to be calm and in control? Do you put on a ‘mask’ to face the world? How often do you look at others and think, “Why can’t I be as together/in-control/confident/calm as them?”
Our mind is a wonderful thing but it can also be self-destructive. The majority of people come to see me because of anxiety and how it impacts their life, physically and emotionally. Anxiety can be debilitating. Anxiety can make you feel alone and worthless. Anxiety can cloud all of your decisions and change the course of your life. You will be surprised at just how many people suffer from anxiety and many of those are the people you admire for seeming so in-control. According to Anxiety UK, “1 in 6 adults had experienced some kind of ‘neurotic health problem’ in the previous week.” What? …1 in 6?…. In the past week?
It was hard work to be anxious and it was exhausting to be constantly thinking things over and over and over; worrying about what you had said or what was going to happen, thinking about the consequences of this or the process of that. Added to all of that was the physical side of anxiety- your body on constant high alert, ready to flee or fight. We expended so much energy on worrying, but what was it giving us? How were we benefiting from it?
Imagine you are talking to someone you love. Would you sit there and tell them the worse outcome of everything they are doing or that they are useless at something? Would you say to them that nobody likes them or that the things they say sound stupid? Would you notice and point out every tiny flaw about their body or their personality? Of course not. So, if you wouldn’t have said that to anyone else, why did you have a right to say it to yourself?
Whatever masks we all wear, we are all children inside. We all have our vulnerabilities and insecurities that need nurturing and protecting. That is our brains job, our sub-conscious is hardwired to protect us. Unfortunately, it sometimes got it a little wrong or over reacted. As I have mentioned in past blogs, our subconscious is always looking out for evidence that it is making the right decision, which in turn validates the behaviour, even if that behaviour does not have a positive outcome.
Once we understand this, we realise we can re-train our subconscious mind to work for us in a more beneficial way. It may take a little practice, but you know what they say- practice makes perfect! And, when you think about it, why wouldn’t you want to use a little of all that energy you have been wasting on anxiety to enable you to take control of your life?
“It made Ove feel as if his chest was slowly rising out of the ruins of a collapsed house after an earthquake. It gave his heart space to beat again.” A Man Called Ove. Fredrik Backman.
NLP and Hypnotherapy is very successful when combatting anxiety. It will put you in control and teach you how to make that change in a quick, effective and permanent way. You will learn strategies that you can adapt as your own so you are that calm and confident person that you so admire in others. It looks to the future and shows you how you will get what you want out of life.
On my Facebook page, Lucy Fey NLP, I regularly post articles, suggestions or ideas to help with many issues. There are many, many ways to combat anxiety, but I personally prefer the quickest and most simple (therefore easiest!) methods. Here are a few to start with.
Grounding.
This is particularly useful when things are suddenly overwhelming, you feel out of control or if having a panic attack.
Look around you.
Find,
· 5 things you can see
· 4 things you can touch
· 3 things you can hear
· 2 things you can smell
· 1 thing you can taste
It will slow you down and enable you to have clearer thoughts.
Focus on the physical side of the anxiety.
Our emotions became all engulfing when anxious. It was hard to think clearly and rationally. You will be amazed when you see how easy it is to calm yourself and take control. Practise this as often as possible so you are in tune with your body and understand how it is affected by your emotions.
· Close your eyes (or focus on a single point) so you can concentrate
· Notice any change in your body- For example, a knot in your stomach/ heart beating faster/feeling tense/ change in temperature/thoughts spinning
· Focus on the most pronounced and imagine it becoming calmer. Make it slow, dissolve, unravel, cool or whatever it needs to do to disappear
· Repeat until all the physical sides of the anxiety has gone
· Notice how calm you feel
Please get in touch if you have any questions or would like to book an appointment. My website has lots of information about NLP, Hypnotherapy and what I do.
