Sleep. It’s a funny old thing isn’t it. The more you need it, the less you manage to have; you sleep too much, you are even more tired. I have noticed that the majority of emails I receive asking for help are sent in the early hours of the morning. Why is it that we are often wide awake in the middle of the night, solving the world’s problems? More importantly, how can we ensure we have a restful night?
There can be medical reasons why people suffer from insomnia so it’s best to let your GP know just incase. However, many people’s sleep is disrupted when they are anxious, stress or worried. Luckily, this is something that is easily solved. Having regularly had 2-3 hours of sleep a night for many years, I now get at least 8 hours, just because I made a few easy adjustments.
The Sleep Foundation recommends that the average amount of sleep needed for an 18-64 year-old is 7 to 9 hours. We know about reducing tablet, phone and screen use in the evening just as we know about not drinking caffeine after 4pm, reducing alcohol intake, eating earlier and taking daily exercise. It makes sense that if you work late into the evening, you will find it harder to ‘switch off’ in-order to have a restful night. But sometimes, with our increasingly busy lives, that is hard to do every night. So, what else can we do?
Focus ON the anxious feeling.
Often we try to ignore that feeling, or even worse we beat ourselves up by telling ourselves that we are being silly for feeling anxious or stressing in the middle of the night. The amount of times I used to tell myself that I was really stupid because I was keeping myself awake worrying about something I couldn’t do anything about. The only thing that telling yourself off actually achieves is it makes everything worse as making you even more anxious and annoyed with yourself.
Instead;
· Slow down your breathing as if you were asleep
· Focus on the one area of your body where the anxious or stressed feeling is most obvious. Take your time and on each outward breath, concentrate and visualise getting rid of that feeling. For example, slow down your pounding heart, relax the muscles in your shoulders, slow down the thoughts in your head, lighten the weight on your chest or unravel the knot of tension in your stomach
· Once that feeling has gone, concentrate on the next most obvious tension in your body. Repeat as before
· Repeat for all other areas until all the tension has gone
· If you are still awake, on each outward breath, calmly & slowly tell yourself you are going to have a good night sleep and will wake up feeling refreshed and revitalised
Enjoy a bit of escapism!
Think of a place that you feel really relaxed in and imagine you are there. Make it as real as you can.
· As you imagine it, use each of your senses one at a time to get back that feeling. Start with what you could see. Focus on all the little details like the colour, brightness, movement and all the different parts of the scenery
· When you can clearly see where you were, repeat with all the senses, one at a time. Hear what you heard, smell what you smelt, taste what you tasted and feel what you felt
· Once you have a vivid picture that includes all the senses, start imagining you have a dial that can turn the experience up or down. Can you make it brighter, clearer, louder, warmer or sweeter smelling for example? How can you make that relaxation as good as possible? Again, focus on each of the senses.
· Notice where you feel that relaxation in your body. Can you use your dial to make that feeling even stronger?
Use the sounds around you to help you drift off.
Instead of getting annoyed by the sounds around you, use them! Yes- your partner’s snoring, the neighbour’s house alarm, the dripping tap or the clock ticking! Think about how hypnotherapists in movies use watches, clocks or metronomes to hypnotise people. That’s because the rhythm of a constant noise can put you into a deep state of relaxation. That is, if you tell yourself the right thing!
· Focus on the rhythm of the noise, while you are slowing your breathing. Maybe even synchronise your breathing with the noise
· You could slowly say to yourself something like, “As I slowly breathe in…. and out…. I will focus on the rhythm of the (snoring, alarm etc.)… as I focus on that rhythm, I will become increasingly relaxed…. As I focus on that rhythm, my breathing will slow… as my breathing slows… I will drift off into a restful, restorative sleep… waking in the morning feeling revived, energised and ready to start the day.”
Tell yourself what you want, not what you don’t want.
Before you go to sleep, do you ever have a think about the successes of that day? You probably do if there is something in particular, but do you on an average day? Often, we focus on what we don’t want to happen, what didn’t go well and/or what we need to sort out the following day.
I wish I hadn’t done that today. I mustn’t forget to sort out ***. I know I’m not going to sleep well tonight. I’m going to feel awful in the morning because… I wish I wasn’t such a bad sleeper. I’m never going to fall back to sleep as I can’t stop my mind whirring. I wish I hadn’t had that coffee as it’s going to keep me awake.
By focussing on what we DON’T want, our brain is only hearing it as an instruction. For example, “I wish I hadn’t had that coffee, it’s going to keep me awake.” Is basically saying, “I’ve had a coffee. I’m going to stay awake.” You are actively telling yourself to stay awake!
When you’re driving, do you focus on the things you don’t want to crash into? No, you look at the clear road ahead and by doing that, you automatically avoid the other cars, buildings and people.
· Every night, congratulate yourself on at least 3 successes from that day, however small
· Tell yourself you are going to have a good night sleep and will wake up feeling refreshed and ready for the day
· Go to sleep in a positive frame of mind and you will be surprised what a difference it makes
These are just a few suggestions of ways to have a better night sleep. If you find it difficult to do these techniques yourself, please get in touch as I can make you a personalised CD or email you a personalised audio file. That way you can listen to it and drift the night away! Email me at lucy@lucyfeynlp.co.uk for more information.
My website is www.lucyfeynlp.co.uk if you would like to find out more about what I do.
