Recently, I have had many people coming to see me because they feel like they don’t know who they are anymore. They have lost their identity over the years, for one reason or another.
I’m sure that, at some point in our lives, we all feel a bit lost, rudderless and unsure of what to do next. Having been caught up in the rat-race of everyday, busy life for so long, the focus has been on what we need and should do, rather than that what we want to do. After a while, we forget what we wanted and it all becomes about the needs and the shoulds.
Of course, we are committed to our responsibilities and we love our families & friends, but why do we so readily accept (or expect) that we must sacrifice our own wellbeing for those shoulds and needs? Isn’t being happy and fulfilled a need? A must?
So, here is an activity to remind you of you. It is intended to be a positive experience, reflecting on how you have changed and grown over the years.
1) First, draw 3 circles inside one another on a piece of paper, making sure the middle circle is nice and big.
2) Write the numbers 1-4 in the circles.
3) Answer the following questions. Write the answers (as many words as you can) in the appropriate numbered circle. Think of all areas of your life when you answer them- home/ work/ socialising etc.
Questions-
· What did/do I enjoy as a child, teenager, adult, now? In circle 2
· What are my dreams/ goals in life? Circle 4
· What is important to me? Circle 1
· What do I like about myself? What am I confident about? Circle 1
· What qualities do I respect in others? Circle 3
· What do I want for the future? (Home, work, family etc.) Circle 4
· What compliments have/ do others give me? Circle 1
· What do I respect about myself? What do others respect about me? Circle 1
· When I was a child/ teenager/ youth, what did I want to “be when I grow up”? Circle 4
· What are my past/ present successes? Circle 1
· What/ who inspires me? Circle 3
· What qualities have grown in me over the years? Circle 1
· What influences me? Circle 3
· What am I proud of? Circle 1
· What excites me? Circle 2
· If I could do anything in the world, what would it be? Circle 4
4) Now put these headings in for each circle.
1- My Qualities, strength & drive
2- What I enjoy
3- Wider world & it’s influence
4- Dreams & goals
5) Read through & reflect on what you have written. Add things if you want.
You can now do what you wish with this.
Some suggestions are-
- Look at your qualities. Are you using these to the best of your ability? Are you making the most of yourself?
- Highlight things that are part of your life now. Have you got roughly the same number of highlights in each circle? Are you fulfilling all areas of your life?
- Look at the things you haven’t highlighted. Are there any you think you could/ would like to integrate into your life now?
- Circle things you used to do that you would like to do again & set yourself a goal based on those
- Cross out things you don’t want/ are no longer important to you
By spending time reflecting on your life, refocussing your priorities and readjusting your future goals, you become clearer about what it is that you actually want. Once that is clear, you can then spend time working out the best way to get there.
Goals need to be regularly adjusted as you grow & your circumstances change. If we don’t adapt those goals or even worse, we don’t have a goal, we end up losing our identity and feeling lost.
I would be very interested to receive any feedback once you have done this activity. If you would like more information on NLP and Hypnotherapy, please contact me or have a look at my website www.lucyfeynlp.co.uk
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